You know you've been veganized...

As I was enjoying my delicious and homey supper of mashed potatoes with spinach, mushrooms with leeks and thyme, and roasted brussels sprouts this week, I stopped for a moment and looked down in wonderment as two thoughts occurred to me:

1. This entirely-too-green meal might be a nice dinner for St. Patricks day- screw green eggs and ham!
2. Everything on my plate was something I would have considered deeply odd to eat a few years ago.

That's when it occurred to me... I had been veganized!

You see, when you first go vegan, there are a lot of foods that you havent been exposed to before, and it can be scary. You might just stick to fake chicken nuggets, cheese-less pizza, french fries, salads and spaghetti, like all the uninitiated. Then you start to venture a little further, frequenting health food stores, trying your hand at some muffins, maybe a stir fry and... even some baked tofu. Soon enough though, you find yourself eating, for every meal, things most people have never heard of or thought of... and loving it! It means you've been VEGANIZED! Symptoms:

-you think everything's better with nooch on it.
-you can instantly tell if the barista gave you regular milk instead of soymilk.
-you look at recipes with kale in them and think: "YUM!"
-"panko", "agar-agar" and "arrowroot" aren't nonsense words to you- they're in your pantry!
-you're deeply shocked that people still make non-vegan cupcakes.
-you know how to pronounce "quinoa" correctly.
-you prefer brown rice and whole wheat bread to their bleachy-white counterparts.
-you fight over the last green bean, and lust over brussels sprouts, beets, broccoli, and all those other veggies your childhood self turned your nose up at.
-to you, sweet potatoes and black beans go together like peanut butter and jelly.
-you are weirdly obsessed with oatmeal.
-you have agave nectar, maple syrup AND molasses in your pantry.
-why put white sugar in your coffee, when you have stevia/ succanat/or sugar in the raw to choose from?
-you can veganize almost any recipe (even one by Anthony Bourdain) in less than 3 steps.
-you can't remember a time when there wasn't a tub of Earth Balance and a bottle of Braggs in your fridge.
-the words "chocolate soymilk" are deeply meaningful to you.
-the words "chickpea gravy" cause a faraway look to appear in your eyes.

What's funny is, you don't have to be vegan to be "veganized"- I think the fact that my parents now suggest things like roasted beets, paradise pie, and penang tofu for dinner shows that they too have fallen victim. Who knows, with the prevalence of health conscious recipes online, and mainstream omnis who love vegan food like Mark Bittman, perhaps the whole world is on the verge of being veganized...

What are your symptoms?

Song of the Day: Titus Andronicus- Arms Against Atrophy


Katy said...

LOL, what a great post! It's all so true!

I'm definitely veganized. We fight over the last of the veggies every night, don't consider our smoothie complete without spinach, and would rather have a clementine or watermelon than any other dessert.

YAY for veganism!

pixiepine said...

I'm veganized! I enthusiastically reach for the fresh veggies at parties and totally bypass the baked goods!

veggievixen said...

uh oh, i'm showing symptoms...

jessy said...

oh man, T - that's one plate of yum right there! brussels are my absolute faaaaaavorite veggie! mmmmmmmmmm!

i love your veganized list! it had me cracking up! ahhhaaa! yay! and yeah, i've totally been veganized. "you fight over the last green bean, and lust over brussels sprouts, beets, broccoli, and all those other veggies your childhood self turned your nose up at." - right there with you! these days i turn my nose up at the thought of dairy cheese and other omni things i used to love. and i love keeping a well stocked kitchen - i don't think i'll ever run out of nooch, liquid braggs, miso, wheat germ, or coconut milk! ahhahaahaa! i've even gotten to the point of saying "eh" to whole wheat pasta and loving quinoa 'n millet (or any other rock'n grain) more - and that's unheard of for me! :)

Liz² said...

check, check, and check... I love the sweet potato & black bean point, it's so true! ^0^

oh, and an army of nut/seed butters tends to follow vegans, I've noticed...

also, raw pasta actually sounds delicious to you.

you can discern clearly between brands of tofu.

Every so often you feel you have to deep-fry something. You know, like normal people eat.

You know what jackfruit is.

Anonymous said...

I have so many of those symptoms and I'm damn proud of it!

Mihl said...

It's funny, I have been thinking much about this too. I am completely veganized :D

allularpunk said...

oh goodness... i HAVE been veganized. haha..yay! another one might be the compulsion to add tahini to everything. it took me so long to learn to love nutritional yeast and tahini (except in hummus) and now i freak out if i run out! oh how we change :)

Bianca said...

Haha...it's like "You might be a vegan if..." Love it, especially that part about everything tasting better with nooch...and the chickpea gravy line...and the cupcakes. It does shock me when I realize that people still use eggs for baked goods. That's so not even necessary.

I would add ... if "you spell cheese with a z" and "if you scan a product label for non-vegan ingredients in under a second." It amazes how fast I can spot the bad ingredients now that my eyes know what to look for...

Anonymous said...

I love this post! Like you, I am eating so many wonderful foods now. I remember a time when the number of veggies I despised was past the dozen mark, and now I can only think of one (eggplant-bleh!). I knew I was veganized when I started naming the wee fruit flies in my apartment instead of shooing them away. And also, when I let the lovely onion into my cooking. They used to make me gag. Woohoo!

T said...

Love all these, hilarious! Vegans are weird... but awesome!

jd said...

This is so great - I laughed through the whole thing!

The part about sweet potatoes and black beans going together like PB & J was really cute. And I have to agree re: the obsessive oatmeal thing. In fact, I'm eating a bowl (with maple syrup - not white sugar!) right now :)

aTxVegn said...

What a great list! I am proud to be completely veganized.

Jamie the Foodie said...

i was just telling a friend that vegan is sort of a sub-culture! and it's true! i love the fact that your parents are on board. i call my mother to invite them to dinner & she asks "what are you cooking?" i have to assure her that there will be plenty of vegetables that she likes & that i will make/buy her some "white" biscuits! it's sad!

KZ said...

Two words: nutritional yeast.